Friday, May 18, 2012

The week that was...

The most beautiful thing about sport is the thrill and excitement it gives you sending your heartbeats to levels higher than Gayle's sixes. It has so captivated my time that I effortlessly switched between a 'I don't want the title tussle' till the last moment between Manchester teams, 'I'm at better at this merry-go-round' F1 race and watching the display of amazing consistency and professionalism in losing by Deccan in IPL, when disaster strcuk.

I had just read the other day that cricket commentary was born in 1961, I'm sure it went on its deathbed when Sidhu entered in 2001, now in 2011 when Danny Morrison entering the comm box it has completely been burnt down and cremated a Gayle's six length deep into the ground. I'm sure if India TV conduct's a sting operation they will find Danny watching porn instead of cricket, not sure if even actors in that would have so much feelings (Knowing that it is this easy, we might even find our BJP MPs entering comm box in the future). So, when Danny (Is he the brother or agent of Sunny ??) and said 'Sachin hit the sweet spot and banged the ball effortlessly in the gap", I couldn't take it anymore in front of parents..Switched the channels to follow what's on around in India..

National:

# A. Raja released on bail in the 2G case, on a surety of 20 lakhs.

Former telecom minister Raja has appealed to the supreme court to look into the surety amount of Rs. 20 lakhs. He feels it is highly unfair on him given the prevailing economic conditions. He reasons out the expenses of him having to book an Air India flight, and on its cancellation the booking of another last minute flight to Switzerland, completing his clearances to withdraw money from his swiss bank account where the minimum denomination is crores a paltry sum of lakhs and added to it the cost of foreign exchange, will surely work out more than the demanded surety sum of 20 lakhs. He has pleaded with the court citing his poor family income to reconsider the amount.

He also entered the parliament for the zeroth hour, and inquired well being of his friends and was unhappy that his fellow MPs did not plan a vacation to the family guest house in Tihar.

# Ambedkar's cartoon row send parliament into a frenzy, all cartoons removed from NCERT books

Following the row on the depiction of Ambedkar's cartoon implying the snail's pace in which the constitution was framed, Tortoise In Today's Society, fancily calling themselves TITS, has moved the court saying the depiction of the Tortoise as "slow" in childhood's story is highly demeaning to the animal. Speaking of which, TITS brand ambassador, Ms. Leone has promised that the organization will approach the PM as they find him a considerate man in understanding the Tortoise's plight.

Economy:

# Rupee declines to all-time low

The decline of the rupee has opened unlimited job opportunities in the country. Speaking to the owner of Manmohan waste paper mart, he has said that there has been a huge spurge in people across the country throwing away kilos and kilos of waste paper. He has requested the government to print the currency a little bigger and photos of other celebrities as there is a demand for color posters among the youth.

Sport:

# SRK enters into a fracas with security staff at the Wankhede

SRK is likely to be banned by the Mumbai cricket association, for his fist fight with the security staff. SRK insists that he just called out the guard's name Vikram and the guard got offended for it. Defending his actions, SRK has said, as a owner of KKR, it's only apt that I called him Bikram and his son as Birat. Arnab Goswami held a discussion on this issue of national importance the very same day.

Finally landed up with Set Max again, and goddamn Danny is still at it.."You betcha, another DLF Maximum  'FIX'.." For once Danny boy, you were right..

Thursday, May 10, 2012

The week that was in India...

As I sat 'Fevikwick' glued to 'LG' television all day long 'Timex' watching live telecast of DLF IPL seeing 'Aircel' ABD, 'Vodafone' Virender, 'Karbonn Kamaal' KKR, little did I realize that I had been unaware of the happenings around me in 'Incredible' India. Talking to a few of my 'F.R.I.E.N.D.S' friends and finding them to be of the same plight, I browsed through the happenings across the country over the past week for the benefit of many. Here's a dose of quicky bytes of the major talking points of the country over the past 'Dabur Chywanprash' week  in a non-partisan 'BJP' view reporting only the 'Bible' truth. 

National :

# More than 100 Air India pilots report sick, flights cancelled

Various vaasthu and numerology experts feel that changing the name of Air India to Ground India would help the Maharaja airlines. Also they have suggested a small bowl to be added along with the Maharaja in the logo, so he can directly beg from people. 

Prime Minister MMS has remained silent on this issue. 

# President Patil on a month long official trip along with grandchildren to Mauritius, Maldives and ....

Mauritius and Maldives government have expressed deep gratitude to the president for single handedly developing tourism and surging their GDPs to top of the world. Census data recorded during the last week has reported a dip of 2% in India's population. This has been the most successful president term ever served and the UPA is planning to nominate Patil for a second term if she plans to come back to India. 

Prime Minister MMS was unavailable to comment on this issue. 

International: 

# Hillary Clinton visits India

The government has conferred the highest possible award to a foreign woman national in an act which is sure to strengthen India-US ties. Having run out of titles with Behenji, Didi, Amma taken up already, government has conferred a prestigious title to Ms. Clinton. Speaking of which Ms. Clinton said she was very proud to be hence known as the "Biwi" of India. 

PM Mr. Singh just let his eyes speak on this extremely emotional ceremony. 

# Hollande elected France president

Opposition parties have criticized the government for letting Hollande to be the president of France. VHP, RSS and the BJP have accused that it is part of the master plan of the UPA government to nominate Pakistan as the president of India. When asked to comment on the above issue, Aamir Khan wiped off the tears from his eyes and said "Satyamev Jayate". 

Prime Minister Manmohan has declined to indulge in affairs of other countries and has remained quiet. 

Sport:

# Sachin nominated as Rajya Sabha MP

Asked on his immediate plans, he has hinted on the idea of passing a bill by which 50% of the runs made by all the batsmen in a match would be counted in Sachin's score under the Right to Score Act. On being asked whether this was a selfish motive, he said " We all are Mumbai Indians. No one has the right to ask me when I will retire."

Elsewhere, in the IPL, Andhra broke out in a frenzy and welcomed the Deccan team home to a red carpet appreciation after they won the last position in the IPL table by a comfortable margin. Asked to comment on it, captain Sanga has said " We are always fully charged to face difficulties and that has been the key this year."

On these issues, PM has not spoken a word as his favorite sport happens to be hockey. 

However, caught on a secret spy cam in PM's prayer room by the THE Arnab Goswami's Times Now, I can assure you all that our PM has not lost his silken voice and with utter devotion he carried on his prayers to Soniaji and Rahulji.  

That was the round-up of the past week 'Nokia-Connecting People' people.