Friday, May 20, 2011

All the world's a stage!!!


It just so happens that sometimes you find yourself searching for emotions when a long anticipated moment arrives. It happened to me this Sunday, as I had yearned for a peaceful day throughout the week. When the day finally dawned on me, I was haplessly helpless, unknowing what to do or how to roll the day ahead.  I sat silently and let time take which made me in course of time, the lead protagonist in this play. 

Take 1:

After mulling over countless options, I succumbed to my laziness as I picked out the novel I had intended to finish a month back. I was skimming more than reading, as the bard transported me into his own world.

“Blow, blow, thou winter wind,
Thou art not so unkind”

I suddenly stopped short while reading these Shakespearean verses, as I shook my laziness and scrambled for the dictionary. What does “thou” mean? Is it an abbreviated form of “though?”, though it could be the case, the concept of using “thou” in place of “though” would represent a literary blunder by the man who many (including countless editors at Penguin Publishing) consider the God of literature?  I flipped through pages of my dictionary to find that “thou” represented an archaic way of signifying “you”. Shakespeare was right in his own right.

Take 2:

I slipped deep into my couch, deeper into the book, only to awake to my frenzied cousin. A similar turn of events had led my cousin in his eighth grade to scramble for the dictionary, though the word in contention for him was not from a Shakespearean verse, but from his Harry Potter book. My unwarranted offer to help received no response.

Harry commands Ron in a Quidditch game “You better catch hold of it.” What does the word “You “mean? Is it an elongated form of “Yo?” meant to satiate the need for a longer version to refer to the second person, which aptly helps people in blame game? He flipped pages of my dictionary to find “You” represented an archaic way of signifying "Yo". On this note he flipped open his mobile to type a grammatically correct message to his friend “Yo there?”

Take 3:

Accidentally reading the message, his younger brother was in a fix over the word “Yo”. Unable to comprehend the message, he rushed to me for help, rather to my dictionary for help.

“Yo” represented an archaic way for signifying “U”, he read aloud from the dictionary. As he walked away, I was left wondering whether his rhymes book did read “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, How I wonder what U are?”

Take 4:

As I sat pondering over my cup of coffee, I was marveled at the wonder of the English language. I had to conclude that its real beauty lay not in the works of Shakespeare or Wilde, but in its open outlook to embrace every means of betterment. It has borrowed more from other languages and has been more open to trade in this modern world. No wonder, English is at the pinnacle of this globalized world and shines as the beacon of anti-protectionism.

The future looked unclear to me, as I sat wondering where to from here? Will we resort to the pre-historic age of adopting sign languages? If that were to happen, it will rightly reiterate the belief that everything in life is indeed a circle. 

Meanwhile, people who failed to understand this age-old logic have suffered by not anticipating a bear after the passage of a bull, and lay stranded on the Dalal Street not long ago.

Acknowledge the truth now or pay me a tribute when you are left stranded.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

How Brand Sachin teaches me a lesson!!!

With every adjective/adverb/adulation/praise already used, Is there anything left out to be written about Sachin? The longer he stays in the game, the more problems he is going to create for journalists as they trash and pound the Oxfords and Wren&Martins but still up with melancholic oft-repeated cliches about him. (Probably that's why the media keeps quizzing about his retirement plans). Audacious as I am and the kind of freedom blogging gives you to write anything one wants, I pen down a few thoughts on how Brand Sachin continues to amaze me.

One of the toughest problems any marketer faces is to make his brand appealing and contemporary and stretch its longevity. Gone were those days when a product you used was governed by what your grand-dad and father used. There was also a pride attached to use what your grand-dad once did so early in your life (Ofcourse, you would have heard the stories about how much he struggled to earn that and how easy you are getting it like a thousand times). That was a time when people used to have long-term relationships with brands..

Fast forward to day these things hardly matter.I went to a police station to tell them I saw Murder..How was Mallika Sherawat? drooled the head constable. Surely this new age lifestyle and the constant craving to try out new things, we are looking to use a brand which is already not there in your wardrobe or you haven't brushed your teeth with. Although, this gives a chance for new products, it wracks the brains of those established brands. This is the age of one-night stands with no damn loyalty..

How do you make your brand contemporary? How do you appeal to the younger generation? What should I do to make these people repeat purchase? If I knew the answer to this, I wouldn't be here but getting ready for a guest lecture at the CannesLions sipping my champagne with Carla Bruni by my side. But as I grew up, I see a lot of brands not able to survive just because they are not able to appeal to beyond a generation.

Goldspot is no more..Once my favorite Coffee Bite is no more..Nirma is no more..Bajaj Chetak is no more..Ambassador is no more..Orkut has its tombstone engraved along with the Dodo's..The list goes on..How much of their descent was because of the their product failures? Or is it simply because of a simple fact that they were not able to redefine their position and appeal to the target audience when a new product came up with a slicker communication targeted at your want and desire to try a new product and break free of the monotonous repetitive things which everyone owns? You know the answer..don't you?


My father talks about Ilayaraja, I talk about AR Rahman, My father talks about Titan, I talk about Tommy..My father talks about Raymonds, I talk about Levi's..We hardly talk the same things, share the same tastes, appreciate the same art, But we both talk about Sachin..It's hardly the only thing where I find my dad's tastes contemporary with me and where he finds my tastes traditional with him..

It's amazing how across generations, one man has been able to capture the interests and connect with people across all ages. Believe me, it's not the runs he scored nor the centuries he scored that has made him survive so long (Ofcourse he is the most talented of all the contemporary cricketers), its how he has used that talent to make himself contemporary and appealing to a country as diverse as India (Forget his fans the world over!!!). His humility, communication, childish aggression, the smile and also his short-lived french beard, don't forget his look towards the sky (Helmet on the one hand and MRF on the other hand), all remain etched in memories of people who can not be segmented by caste, religion, age, language, sex. His performance looks a minuscule component in defining what Sachin is to all of us, how many times you have felt that Sachin should score the runs rather than anyone else? Sachin lives on, rather Brand Sachin lives on, even the most youngest of the Indian team Virat Kohli wants to win a WC for Sachin (for some1 who was born after Sachin made his debut).

As an aspiring marketer, Sachin will remain my quintessential go-to model for creating brand value. Also doesn't it tell you, if one is true from within and communicates honesty, his brand will survive? Sachin I think you have taught me a bigger lesson than anything I have learnt till now!!!




Saturday, May 7, 2011

Nameless In Calcutta!!

Life always doesnt give you choices..When it gave me an internship of my choice, it surprised me (as it has everyday) by putting me up at Calcutta for the next two months..Cal was probably the last place on earth I wanted to be in, my mind already preconceived with negative opinions abt the place which I have been hearing abt since childhood..

Bereft of choices (after endlessly cursing my luckless destiny) and options, I made up my mind to embrace my new domicile after cleansing my cobwebs of horror formed by others opinions. I came to Cal exactly a month ago, and like how ST was bookless in Baghdad, I was "Nameless in Cal"

Without wanting to repeat the mistake of preaching like others did, I leave here a memoir of the events, the magic and the experiences  as I effortlessly managed with prior zero knowledge in Hindi and a negative knowledge of Bangla everyday here @ Cal.

Not having any1 to boss around gives you such unfettered freedom and breaks you free of any shackles. Like it did to me, I walked into this city as a just returned from US grandson of Tagore and put on a " Bloody I know Hindi" attitude. My daily commuting takes me to a place called Hazra, where I get down to get another Billu-Barber buses. In order to minimize my Hindi usage and show people my ineptitude, I talk less and use vocal modulations. I wake up my fellow passenger and ask Hizra? (with an upward modulation at the end). Bhander means stores in Hindi - How the hell am I supposed to know this? The only similar sounding Hindi word I know of was when my third language hindi teacher pointed at a 50 paise animals chart - We all shouted in chorus Bhandar. Is it my fault then when I go to the owner of a shop and ask Sidharth Bhandar? (Again upward modulation at the end - It's a question baba). Pure bliss when some1 screams at you at the top of their voices in an alien language and you stand there giving a Gandhian smile. I seriously recommend all to try it atleast once.

Nitrogen - 71%, Oxygen -21%, CO2 - 3%..All bull crap what I learnt. In Cal, its nicotine smoke - 120%, Oxygen - negative 25 %, CO2 - 5% (Potato is their staple diet, don blame the Bong babes plsss). Everyone smokes is an understatement, They smoke everywhere and anywhere, at places where it is least expected too.. Inside a pharmacy, Inside a sweet stall, In the Eden Gardens, The driver of a public bus, In an auto, In a    (fill it with whatever you want)..Girls, Old ladies and Grandmoms move away if you want, no respect for you..The communists are chauvinistic u see!!!

Chauvinistic communists damn them..But like how India gives its own Indianness to everything from China (Gobi Manchurian Included!!!), CPI (M) is not chavinistic..A travel in the metro will affirm the view..I got into the first bogey and saw a set of seats reserved for Physically challenged and Senior Citizen ( How considerate and thoughtful of them to do that!!!)A series of seats reserved for ladies as well ( How Un-Chauvinistic of them to do that!!) No seats reserved for men in the first bogey,as I traversed in vain searching for a seat until I hit upon the iron-clad Kremlin-like end of bogey..The whole metro doesnt have any seat allocated for men, the women can sit anywhere..As someone who seek equal rights for men, I raised my voice..(With sex ratio already heavily skewed in favor of men and an alarming 1984 like world of gay-hood looming large) Shouldn't men have more seats than women? "How dare you slander women in this Mother India?..Jai Mata Di" the lady stood up and other women synchronizing to form the numerous hands I earned the wrath of Kali..On a different note, Metro is an apt image of the typical bengali lazy lifestyle..You find the bogeys at the extremes teeming with people and the ones at the center reminding you of Dodo's..The stairs are near to the extremes, why do you hav to walk extra? (These people are not lazy, they use their energies optimally you see!!!)

Learning Bangla isn't difficult you see as I realized it!!Caught with a sever cold and bouts of sneezing, I passed on the change to the auto driver and asked Teeke (Aaaah...Chii Damn my cold). Instead of getting a God bless in response, the driver sneezed back too Teek Aaah..Chii..Blown away by their hospitality of trying not to make the diseased feel inferior by pretending to have the disease himself, the auto driver typified heights of goodness..I was later stupefied to learn that it wasnt a show of hospitality but how they speak..So the next time you want to speak Bangla, catch a bout of influenza virus and sneeze at the end of every word..teeckochhi? keymon occhi? it's as simple as that..Was Bengal once called the sick state of India for this? God knows..Or if you really don't wanna get sick, go on grab a pack of Rajnigandha and paint this city red..teek - (gargle nicely)--chii??

And how can I not talk about the distinctly Calcutta-ish Tram?? This is like this dilapidated pieces of junk metal frivolously held on to by regular welding and also by the nostalgic people's wish of not wanting to let go of an unique tradition. Everytime I see it moving around, with the screechy noise and the puff of dust it throws around (to show every1 I'm here) I get reminded of my grandfather who was a commanding police officer at his prime and of whom I've heard stories about..However, when he got old and his health deserted him, I couldn't help thinking of him getting relieved of his pain.. I couldn't see a hero of my mine and one whom I have looked at with respect in a state of shambles..The tram still exists - for good or for bad?, you decide for yourselves..

There are so many other things which I found and enjoyed it as distinctly Bengali..The drivers here are little cousins of Schumacher and cut across each other like swords in a Judo fight. Ironically, these buses stop to pick up people who are highly civilized and stand in a line to get into it..The cars are parked heads on to each other with so little space that every instance you take it out, you get reminded of Mr. Bean..And ofcourse you have the coolest word on earth to refer to everyone that you don't need to remember anyone's names..It fits in the Sir (for a formal use), Dude (for an informal use), Hey ( for an irreverent use), Excuse Me (for a quizzical use) all into one..Pick up their accent and you don't need anything more..Ooohh Dadaaa!!!

As I caught up with my friend, and lay talking all night, my friend suddenly exclaimed "Dude it's 6 in the morning, we have done nothing all night except sitting at this place".."This is what Calcutta can do to you!!!" I said..

This city has its own character..This is Calcutta and 'm loving it :)