On Cloud Nine!!!

When the mind doesn’t listen what the heart says and when one loses physical control of himself accentuated by a boring professor that is when you get into a trance. Your eyes close off although you know it should not. Slowly, you go on to lose your senses intoxicated by your newfound ecstasy of sleep and transform into a fantasy world of an extensive blue palette and staccato of white patches. Phattt hits a chalk on your head and zooms you into the real life, the next moment you’re caned. Damn those clouds they are ruining my life.   

Clouds were a fantasy, a world which is surreal and which was a no-go. Often they were used as threatening objects. “Stay away from those rain-bearing clouds”, advises a mom to her kids. In other instances, the dark clouds used to stand for everything related to gloom and sadness in this world. Damn those clouds again!!!

Instances galore where clouds have also been the object of hatred and have been vilified to the hilt. Clouds ruin your nice walk in the morning, ruin your easy travel across the city, send water right in to your living room and destroy your plans to have a nice football match. Damn those clouds again!!! In an ironical sense, clouds were blamed for being there and at the same time not being there. How are we going to survive this year without good monsoons? How are we going to manage the paucity of water this year? Why is it not raining today so that the school declares a holiday? Damn those clouds again!!!

A world of no clouds was considered the object of nature’s beauty although it left us all sweat in this sweltering heat. The blame was placed on the sun and never once on the lack of clouds to protect us from the sun. A beautiful day for cricket was described as one which had clear blue skies implying the lack of clouds although it left players complaining about the heat.

Clouds stood for everything that is abnormal to the status quo. Don’t you worry it’s just a passing cloud. Clouds stood for everything that’s fleeting and never appealed to a stable pacified peaceful mind. All through my life, I have not seen any other object that has been mocked at, looked down upon so much.

Fast forward to today. Clouds are the in-thing to be in now thanks to the new craze Cloud Computing. Microsoft, IBM, Google, Amazon they are all there, trying to outdo one other in launching cloud computing applications. Clouds have a new meaning now, they are now an object of reverence, an object of comfort and more importantly an object of low-cost.

Cloud computing is Internet-based computing, whereby shared resources, software, and information are provided to computers and other devices on demand. Cloud computing is a better way to run your business. Instead of running your apps yourself, they run on a shared data center. When you use any app that runs in the cloud, you just log in, customize it, and start using it. That’s the power of cloud computing. Cloud computing is a simple idea that also reduces what you pay. One doesn’t need to invest on servers, software or other IT resources. When you run on cloud, you don’t buy anything.

So, all that has technology done for the common good of people, it has also saved the face of Varuna Bhagavan. Clouds are no more associated to the virtual world; they are now the face of our lives. Everything is transported to the cloud, as the matrix world now becomes the real life. So the next time you hear someone saying “I’m on cloud nine” Stop back and think. He might really be residing there!!!

Why this kolaveri on mee?

Sigh..sigh..what's with all these weirdos around me..bloody fools..condescending looks all the bloody time as if i am from an alien land..how did you survive then? ada asamandhamgala, how many times to tell..i dont know i dont know..still the same question every alternate day - hindi nahi jaante? And all the people around laugh till they get blisters on their stomach..

(Reminds me of bloody hindi movies where the villain mocks the chained hero for not knowing his mom's name..Goons all around are paid to laugh at this pathetic joke, in return all they get is a biriyani packet for lunch for their oscar winning performaces..bloody asols..atleast our movies have long come out of this foolish syndrome and are investing their time in trying to make a 50 year old rajni date a 20 yr old deepika with elan and charisma..learn from us)

Having had enough of being the laughing stock, practised in front of mirror thrice, kept an alarm at 3 in the morning to see if i remember twice, also in the loo once, with great difficulty memorized hindi nahi aathi (puked the first few times it came out of my mouth, still perseverance thambi perseverance)..

Determined to use it the next time anyone laughs at me, i went in front of the biggest gang and stood right in the middle..Made sure there were hot gals in there, so the moment i give him the reply he will be so embarassed that he will have nowhere to go except leave the college and hide in his house loo for the next 3 years..Ofcourse the girls will also be so smartly impressed with quick wit, that i will be surrounded by a lot of them running after me like in Axe advert..I was mentally prepared for that, used all variants of Axe..(in over enthusiasm had used a little bit of Baygon as well)

Hindi nahi aati - I said aloud and was mentally preparing myself for the rush of gals (hugs..kissess...oh oh enuf for the day)..How are you telling this in hindi then??? (phatt..phatt..bloody govind was the one..i know it was him oly..bloody south indian who knows hindi due to the event of living in bangalore..sure he would have been handling US calls in fake english accent before he came here, do people in that city do anything else?..Oly south indians are against south indians, shameless people..)

Just about the time when my ears started warming up to the continuous laughter, I held my hand against my head and fainted on to the ground..(Our movies have made me strong in coming up with this innovative means of escaping unescapable moments of shame shame puppy shame..Rememberred to pat myself on the back for being street smart once the drama is over)..

Haha the dumbos fell for this you see..took me to a doctor thinking I was seriously sick..While I was still acting unconscious, I mentally kept a note of who all are making fun, just to take revenge later by giving fake orders in their mess bill (they will suspect the mess people and an ensuing fight between north indians will ensure a field day for depressed souls like me suffering in their combined hegemony)..After a long time, the stupid doctor concluded I had food poisoning and charged 500 rs for that (Govind again joked that it would have been due to the acidic reactions of mixing chowmein and curd..again pearls of laughter..point double noted..) I faked innocence though regarding the payment of money the next day and fainted once more..haha they stopped asking money after that..(brains machi brains)

More on the travails and travesty of me in an hostile environment later..very hungry now..

(**brought my chowmein to my room where I can mix how much ever curd i want..Ambrosia!!!)

How India will reach the No. 0 rankings in Test Cricket!!!

These pathetic lads have lost it 4-0 (looks like my proposal count, not even one turned right)..But how can you lose it so badly to people who make games for others to win..how the hell man?how could you do this to me?I am sure that Fletcher would have spoilt your minds, goddamn englishman..It's like US waging a war against Afghanistan, with Osama as the US general..Why why why???if only you had listened to me..

Oki captain cool, now listen to this and we can still win the series 4-0 favoring India..it's highly possible, in fact its the only result possible if you follow this 7-point algorithm..

1. Quickly release a press notice saying India is in favor of the DRS and wants the entire series reviewed..If we lose the toss, quickly call for a DRS..keep repeating step 1, till we win the toss

2. Wall should start also batting from the non-strikers' end so the ball never crosses it reaches Sehwag (making it impossible for him to get a king pair). Wall can be made of India cements to facilitate N Srinivasan's revenues.

3. Dravid should make sure he captivates the entire crowd with his 540 ball 12 runs at the end of the day. A hardcore enthusiast will have the over details as Ball #1 Well Left, Ball #2 Ugly left, Ball #3 Well right...Ball #6 Unintentional edge to a single.

4. After two days of such riveting cricket, we will declare with a huge first innings score of 23. After the english batsmen are ready to play, Dhoni should refuse to bowl unless england agree to declare their first innings at a score of -499.India will enforce the follow-on

5. India should start bowling with its pace spearheads of Harbhajan Singh and MS Dhoni. Spinners like Sreeshanth, RP Singh and Ishant Sharma will bowl one-change. At this moment, a press conference should be held by the ICC that if 8 runs are not scored of every ball, then its a wicket loss (This move is taken to make test cricket more interesting and in the best interest of the game)

6. After seeing the pathetic plight of the English team and their inability to compete with India, Dhoni should magnanimously grant England extra runs and fix the target as India needing to get 100 in the second innings with a caveat that whoever scores the runs/doesn't score the runs, it will be added to Sachin's score.

7. With one ball left to go, and Sachin requiring one run to get to his 100th 100, and with Amit Mishra on strike (runs will be added to Sachin though!!), with the crowd waiting to witness history, both the teams should agree for a draw on the condition that India wins the test match and Sachin gets his 100.

This is test cricket at its very best!!!Crowd goes berserk and unable to control his joy, seeing his teammate make history, Sourav will remove his shorts from the commentary box and wave it over his head..Smiles and congratulations all around for India, having won a hard-fought series 4-0..Anna Hazare should be invited to break his fast and give the presentation trophy (In the time, Dravid bats Anna Hazare can even hold his fast on the ground)..Indian team will be able to walk off with No. 0 rankings and undisputed kings of cricket (Day Zero is better than Day 1 na, Same logic)

Daii Dhoni daii, listen to me da..Call a press conference quickly!!!

This part of my life is called RUNNING :)

People call me a sleazy lazy ass (Ironical as I don't want to move it too) happy to do nothing all day and metaphorically picture me as a pig who loves to waddle in the mud all the time. When the facts are starklingly clear, I decide to keep my mouth shut. Over a period of time, I started glorifying laziness and associated it with this suave, sophisticated, don't-care, smart, intelligent BUT lazy kind-of-attitude. Although, I tried my level best to paint this picture, it turned out to be like one of my 2 year old cousin's painting books. Being an optimist, I told myself "Agreed, the painting sucks, but atleast its colorful", till other people plucked away all colors from me, not to waste it on an useless like me. So there I was - A grand total DUD!!!

Let me start off by skipping and this afternoon sleep and do something productive - New year resolution #354. Let me read newspaper everyday - Resolution # 789. Let me spend an hour everyday meditating - Resolution # rand(). So, with all these resolutions, I was supremely confident my journey from a DUD to a STUD is just a mile drive. Drew on the last powers of strength to skip my afternoon sleep, should I read my newspaper or should I meditate or should I play my guitar or should I study or should I or shouldn't I... Grrr Grr Where to now?? I decided to sleep when the clock struck 12, woke up the next morning to take one final resolution. All Resolution Status - Null and Void.

So, this big total dud in me took to drinking, grew a beard and all things a hero does in our movies when she gets married. It went on for ages, finally when an unfortunate piece of photography managed to capture me (Din't realize till people tagged me on FB). My eyes popped out on the sight unable to believe, took final five shots of tequila and ran away. I didn't want to stop till I reached the flat end of the world and fall off the cliff into a deep abyss. I ran ran and ran till I crashed into my own bed. Life had come a full circle for me!!!

With this coterie of lazy duds, we run in search of the the flat end of the world. We don't want to believe that earth is still flat and not what Copernicus or whoever says it is. So, this eternal search has defined a purpose in my life, the course of the journey teaching me lessons I wouldn't have learnt else in life. As I put on my shoes everyday, I set out to enjoy the journey as I know the end is not the ultimate goal, do my preparatory loosening up groundwork before harping on my mission, set out to appreciate the sometimes moist, sometimes dry pot-hole filled track as the vagaries the external world forces on me on which I have no control over and I set out to run. As my fellow duds join me and goad me on, I do what I can do best - Push Myself, for the adrenaline rush when the once target end line looms larger, when the thud of the shoes on the ground voice over for the sweetest music on earth, when the pearls of hard-earned sweat bathe you and emanates from your body the most authentic perfume I ever put on, and at the end of the 10th lap telling myself that 11th lap was all that I was waiting for and reliving the magic of the 10th lap all over again. As the focus remains only on ending the lap against all odds of physical endurance, and as the mind becomes uncluttered of other niggling worrying things which waver you from the task at hand, I enjoy this orgasmic bliss of my unison with what my mind tells my heart and what they command my body to do. Wish everything in life was so simple!!! So, after I have had enough of this ambrosia, I look up to my fellow duds as if to say Enuf for the day?? A glint in their unsatiated passion says Lets do one more, and as I do my last lap - I just hope we never reach the end of the cliff for selfish reasons of enjoying this pleasure. Running away from life doesn't seem a bad option anymore - didn't Steve Jobs do it? Oye Comrades see you tomorrow, We part off each day - With the never attained satisfaction of giving it all and appreciating yourselves even in defeat.

I am not a STUD, but neither am I a DUD now..Run, Mani Run!!!This part of my life is called RUNNING, This part of my life is called running in pursuit of HAPPYNESS!!!

All the world's a stage!!!

It just so happens that sometimes you find yourself searching for emotions when a long anticipated moment arrives. It happened to me this Sunday, as I had yearned for a peaceful day throughout the week. When the day finally dawned on me, I was haplessly helpless, unknowing what to do or how to roll the day ahead.  I sat silently and let time take which made me in course of time, the lead protagonist in this play. 

Take 1:

After mulling over countless options, I succumbed to my laziness as I picked out the novel I had intended to finish a month back. I was skimming more than reading, as the bard transported me into his own world.

“Blow, blow, thou winter wind,

Thou art not so unkind”

I suddenly stopped short while reading these Shakespearean verses, as I shook my laziness and scrambled for the dictionary. What does “thou” mean? Is it an abbreviated form of “though?”, though it could be the case, the concept of using “thou” in place of “though” would represent a literary blunder by the man who many (including countless editors at Penguin Publishing) consider the God of literature?  I flipped through pages of my dictionary to find that “thou” represented an archaic way of signifying “you”. Shakespeare was right in his own right.

Take 2:

I slipped deep into my couch, deeper into the book, only to awake to my frenzied cousin. A similar turn of events had led my cousin in his eighth grade to scramble for the dictionary, though the word in contention for him was not from a Shakespearean verse, but from his Harry Potter book. My unwarranted offer to help received no response.

Harry commands Ron in a Quidditch game “You better catch hold of it.” What does the word “You “mean? Is it an elongated form of “Yo?” meant to satiate the need for a longer version to refer to the second person, which aptly helps people in blame game? He flipped pages of my dictionary to find “You” represented an archaic way of signifying "Yo". On this note he flipped open his mobile to type a grammatically correct message to his friend “Yo there?”

Take 3:

Accidentally reading the message, his younger brother was in a fix over the word “Yo”. Unable to comprehend the message, he rushed to me for help, rather to my dictionary for help.

“Yo” represented an archaic way for signifying “U”, he read aloud from the dictionary. As he walked away, I was left wondering whether his rhymes book did read “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, How I wonder what U are?”

Take 4:

As I sat pondering over my cup of coffee, I was marveled at the wonder of the English language. I had to conclude that its real beauty lay not in the works of Shakespeare or Wilde, but in its open outlook to embrace every means of betterment. It has borrowed more from other languages and has been more open to trade in this modern world. No wonder, English is at the pinnacle of this globalized world and shines as the beacon of anti-protectionism.

The future looked unclear to me, as I sat wondering where to from here? Will we resort to the pre-historic age of adopting sign languages? If that were to happen, it will rightly reiterate the belief that everything in life is indeed a circle. 

Meanwhile, people who failed to understand this age-old logic have suffered by not anticipating a bear after the passage of a bull, and lay stranded on the Dalal Street not long ago.

Acknowledge the truth now or pay me a tribute when you are left stranded.

How Brand Sachin teaches me a lesson!!!

With every adjective/adverb/adulation/praise already used, Is there anything left out to be written about Sachin? The longer he stays in the game, the more problems he is going to create for journalists as they trash and pound the Oxfords and Wren&Martins but still up with melancholic oft-repeated cliches about him. (Probably that's why the media keeps quizzing about his retirement plans). Audacious as I am and the kind of freedom blogging gives you to write anything one wants, I pen down a few thoughts on how Brand Sachin continues to amaze me.

One of the toughest problems any marketer faces is to make his brand appealing and contemporary and stretch its longevity. Gone were those days when a product you used was governed by what your grand-dad and father used. There was also a pride attached to use what your grand-dad once did so early in your life (Ofcourse, you would have heard the stories about how much he struggled to earn that and how easy you are getting it like a thousand times). That was a time when people used to have long-term relationships with brands..

Fast forward to day these things hardly matter.I went to a police station to tell them I saw Murder..How was Mallika Sherawat? drooled the head constable. Surely this new age lifestyle and the constant craving to try out new things, we are looking to use a brand which is already not there in your wardrobe or you haven't brushed your teeth with. Although, this gives a chance for new products, it wracks the brains of those established brands. This is the age of one-night stands with no damn loyalty..

How do you make your brand contemporary? How do you appeal to the younger generation? What should I do to make these people repeat purchase? If I knew the answer to this, I wouldn't be here but getting ready for a guest lecture at the CannesLions sipping my champagne with Carla Bruni by my side. But as I grew up, I see a lot of brands not able to survive just because they are not able to appeal to beyond a generation.

Goldspot is no more..Once my favorite Coffee Bite is no more..Nirma is no more..Bajaj Chetak is no more..Ambassador is no more..Orkut has its tombstone engraved along with the Dodo's..The list goes on..How much of their descent was because of the their product failures? Or is it simply because of a simple fact that they were not able to redefine their position and appeal to the target audience when a new product came up with a slicker communication targeted at your want and desire to try a new product and break free of the monotonous repetitive things which everyone owns? You know the answer..don't you?


My father talks about Ilayaraja, I talk about AR Rahman, My father talks about Titan, I talk about Tommy..My father talks about Raymonds, I talk about Levi's..We hardly talk the same things, share the same tastes, appreciate the same art, But we both talk about Sachin..It's hardly the only thing where I find my dad's tastes contemporary with me and where he finds my tastes traditional with him..

It's amazing how across generations, one man has been able to capture the interests and connect with people across all ages. Believe me, it's not the runs he scored nor the centuries he scored that has made him survive so long (Ofcourse he is the most talented of all the contemporary cricketers), its how he has used that talent to make himself contemporary and appealing to a country as diverse as India (Forget his fans the world over!!!). His humility, communication, childish aggression, the smile and also his short-lived french beard, don't forget his look towards the sky (Helmet on the one hand and MRF on the other hand), all remain etched in memories of people who can not be segmented by caste, religion, age, language, sex. His performance looks a minuscule component in defining what Sachin is to all of us, how many times you have felt that Sachin should score the runs rather than anyone else? Sachin lives on, rather Brand Sachin lives on, even the most youngest of the Indian team Virat Kohli wants to win a WC for Sachin (for some1 who was born after Sachin made his debut).

As an aspiring marketer, Sachin will remain my quintessential go-to model for creating brand value. Also doesn't it tell you, if one is true from within and communicates honesty, his brand will survive? Sachin I think you have taught me a bigger lesson than anything I have learnt till now!!!

Nameless In Calcutta!!

Life always doesnt give you choices..When it gave me an internship of my choice, it surprised me (as it has everyday) by putting me up at Calcutta for the next two months..Cal was probably the last place on earth I wanted to be in, my mind already preconceived with negative opinions abt the place which I have been hearing abt since childhood..

Bereft of choices (after endlessly cursing my luckless destiny) and options, I made up my mind to embrace my new domicile after cleansing my cobwebs of horror formed by others opinions. I came to Cal exactly a month ago, and like how ST was bookless in Baghdad, I was "Nameless in Cal"

Without wanting to repeat the mistake of preaching like others did, I leave here a memoir of the events, the magic and the experiences  as I effortlessly managed with prior zero knowledge in Hindi and a negative knowledge of Bangla everyday here @ Cal.

Not having any1 to boss around gives you such unfettered freedom and breaks you free of any shackles. Like it did to me, I walked into this city as a just returned from US grandson of Tagore and put on a " Bloody I know Hindi" attitude. My daily commuting takes me to a place called Hazra, where I get down to get another Billu-Barber buses. In order to minimize my Hindi usage and show people my ineptitude, I talk less and use vocal modulations. I wake up my fellow passenger and ask Hizra? (with an upward modulation at the end). Bhander means stores in Hindi - How the hell am I supposed to know this? The only similar sounding Hindi word I know of was when my third language hindi teacher pointed at a 50 paise animals chart - We all shouted in chorus Bhandar. Is it my fault then when I go to the owner of a shop and ask Sidharth Bhandar? (Again upward modulation at the end - It's a question baba). Pure bliss when some1 screams at you at the top of their voices in an alien language and you stand there giving a Gandhian smile. I seriously recommend all to try it atleast once.

Nitrogen - 71%, Oxygen -21%, CO2 - 3%..All bull crap what I learnt. In Cal, its nicotine smoke - 120%, Oxygen - negative 25 %, CO2 - 5% (Potato is their staple diet, don blame the Bong babes plsss). Everyone smokes is an understatement, They smoke everywhere and anywhere, at places where it is least expected too.. Inside a pharmacy, Inside a sweet stall, In the Eden Gardens, The driver of a public bus, In an auto, In a    (fill it with whatever you want)..Girls, Old ladies and Grandmoms move away if you want, no respect for you..The communists are chauvinistic u see!!!

Chauvinistic communists damn them..But like how India gives its own Indianness to everything from China (Gobi Manchurian Included!!!), CPI (M) is not chavinistic..A travel in the metro will affirm the view..I got into the first bogey and saw a set of seats reserved for Physically challenged and Senior Citizen ( How considerate and thoughtful of them to do that!!!)A series of seats reserved for ladies as well ( How Un-Chauvinistic of them to do that!!) No seats reserved for men in the first bogey,as I traversed in vain searching for a seat until I hit upon the iron-clad Kremlin-like end of bogey..The whole metro doesnt have any seat allocated for men, the women can sit anywhere..As someone who seek equal rights for men, I raised my voice..(With sex ratio already heavily skewed in favor of men and an alarming 1984 like world of gay-hood looming large) Shouldn't men have more seats than women? "How dare you slander women in this Mother India?..Jai Mata Di" the lady stood up and other women synchronizing to form the numerous hands I earned the wrath of Kali..On a different note, Metro is an apt image of the typical bengali lazy lifestyle..You find the bogeys at the extremes teeming with people and the ones at the center reminding you of Dodo's..The stairs are near to the extremes, why do you hav to walk extra? (These people are not lazy, they use their energies optimally you see!!!)

Learning Bangla isn't difficult you see as I realized it!!Caught with a sever cold and bouts of sneezing, I passed on the change to the auto driver and asked Teeke (Aaaah...Chii Damn my cold). Instead of getting a God bless in response, the driver sneezed back too Teek Aaah..Chii..Blown away by their hospitality of trying not to make the diseased feel inferior by pretending to have the disease himself, the auto driver typified heights of goodness..I was later stupefied to learn that it wasnt a show of hospitality but how they speak..So the next time you want to speak Bangla, catch a bout of influenza virus and sneeze at the end of every word..teeckochhi? keymon occhi? it's as simple as that..Was Bengal once called the sick state of India for this? God knows..Or if you really don't wanna get sick, go on grab a pack of Rajnigandha and paint this city red..teek - (gargle nicely)--chii??

And how can I not talk about the distinctly Calcutta-ish Tram?? This is like this dilapidated pieces of junk metal frivolously held on to by regular welding and also by the nostalgic people's wish of not wanting to let go of an unique tradition. Everytime I see it moving around, with the screechy noise and the puff of dust it throws around (to show every1 I'm here) I get reminded of my grandfather who was a commanding police officer at his prime and of whom I've heard stories about..However, when he got old and his health deserted him, I couldn't help thinking of him getting relieved of his pain.. I couldn't see a hero of my mine and one whom I have looked at with respect in a state of shambles..The tram still exists - for good or for bad?, you decide for yourselves..

There are so many other things which I found and enjoyed it as distinctly Bengali..The drivers here are little cousins of Schumacher and cut across each other like swords in a Judo fight. Ironically, these buses stop to pick up people who are highly civilized and stand in a line to get into it..The cars are parked heads on to each other with so little space that every instance you take it out, you get reminded of Mr. Bean..And ofcourse you have the coolest word on earth to refer to everyone that you don't need to remember anyone's names..It fits in the Sir (for a formal use), Dude (for an informal use), Hey ( for an irreverent use), Excuse Me (for a quizzical use) all into one..Pick up their accent and you don't need anything more..Ooohh Dadaaa!!!

As I caught up with my friend, and lay talking all night, my friend suddenly exclaimed "Dude it's 6 in the morning, we have done nothing all night except sitting at this place".."This is what Calcutta can do to you!!!" I said..

This city has its own character..This is Calcutta and 'm loving it :)

Oh please come back my...!!!

There's always this something in life which keeps telling you Oh good god!!! It's not complete..Something that makes your mind keep craving for more and an unsatiated desire always exists which just doesn't let you enjoy what you have..Strange feeling it is, cos the thing which you are searching for is like a mirage on a highway road, the closer you go to it, the farther it goes from you.. Life just goes on this unworthy bull-run towards your supposed dream, the mind gets you into that eternal chase towards the spotless road to glory that you become oblivious of the fact that the dream destination is the present continuous verb you are living through!!! I din't understand during my then present continuous times, but I did when I met her again turning nostalgic of my past with her. Ironically she again din't let me enjoy the present with her again, giving me a yearning deja-vu of the past and leaving me with uncertain pangs of  fear as to when I'm going to be with her again!!!

By no means it was love at first sight, I met her very early in life at an age where I would have thought love is a word that rhymes with a street dog's bow. Earliest memories of my schooling brings back all my running late to catch my bus, and by the time I board on it, she has seen it all - my unpressed yesterday's shirt now soaking wet and mistakenly worn one black and one white shoe on either foot. Heaving a sigh of relief after getting into the bus, left out a deep breath out of which accompanied a slimy, viscous, yellowy liquid carefully manhadled it under the seat only to find yesterday's undried stuff, and carefully hugging the guy next to me with open arms after that..She saw it all but never told me anything, bloody who cares, I was least bothered about her. I grew up well so to say, atleast in the eyes of my parents, with them unknowing of my bunking of the school to slip in a little bit of alcohol and catch a seat in the front row of the most pathetic of Thala movies. Till we darted back to our seats after dancing to the songs, or be it our ruckus in the theater until everyone passes snide remarks about our upbringing, she has heard it and seen it all. Never for once has she held me back, but provided me as many ways as possible to explore myself. Still vividly remember when I had gotten into a tussle with a random auto guy to voice out a few good words which will cause defame not only to himself but to his entire lineage ranging from the apes which he evolved from, she stood there and watched as if I had given an oration after receiving the Nobel prize..Although you threw at me a lot of class, I found my solace on the streets - a bite of the sandwich from the shop which locates itself at a place where dust and fist rule the roost, labouring along to the corner tea shop outside the CCD to complete our seven course meal. You have seen it all my dear girl, you saw me the way I grew up with you. But, it didn't matter a bit, honestly I dint give a damn about you, I just wanted to break free from you having heard the hundreds of lovely things about people outside, i have had enough of you, I seriously did!!!

My chase wasn't futile, I saw you an incorrigible idiot, a duffer lagging behind others by light years, I din't take me long to find out how incompetent you were in satisfying my quest. You were just not there - people outside were playing T20 cricket, you are still playing timeless tests..people outside were talking of the parties after that, you are still lamenting about your paati's glory..I had my calling elsewhere, and I knew it wasn't with you..Life was a paradise until I happened to meet you again!!!

You bloody bitch, how dare you do this to me??? What's the need for you to ape those goddamn women outside?? Oh you beauty, the wonderful way you were, please give me the same charm.. I flirted around with people unknowing of what I had missed until I got back to you now, pray you be the same.. It was in vain, among the hundred things that have changed in you, my mind yearned for the same old things in you - My eyes searching in earnest for the same tea shop you have always found me and not among the hundred new CCDs which you have got yourself accustomed to, walked myself into near suicide with a van to relive the same expletives which I had seen me shell out, you have even robbed me of my sandwich you witchy bitch!!!

I couldn't help myself to anything less than a deep sob, I just couldn't move on as the people outside so casually preach..I might have been away from you, but never could they take you away from me..And now when I realize, you aint the same anymore..For my own sadistic pleasures, pray give me back the gutter and the garbage I had seen all around you..I had not told you this before, I really should have for I really do love you!!!I really do love you my sweet Chennai!!!

(un kuthamaa..en kuthamaa..yaara naanum kutham solla..fades away into the background as I get down from the car to catch my flight...)

Know your MTI

Every mom does this, shouts instructions to the office going husband and the school going children at the same time while handling four stoves of fire. Dad with Microsoft outlook on one hand and the plate on the other doesn't forget to pay heed to the constant deluge of info. Son with his last minute homework, although eyes fixed on The Popeye Show does well to stop with these and not pay heed to mom's instructions.

Haaa!!!A typical Indian family or a typical way of life ain't it? That's what we have accepted thanks to the glorification of a dreaded word Multi-Tasking. We watch our TV in P-in-P mode, catch with an school-time friend while on the wheels, never have less than ten tabs open while making our office report, never dare to enter the toilet without a newspaper. Multi-Tasking strikes again even when the tissue paper deserts us in the loo.This MT is a new age phenomenon where more is valued to less and MT factor has become the sole decision-making tool. Mobile phones are not judged based on applications, a conditioner+shampoo is preferred more, a two-in-one attracts more customers, the reason - It gives you the MT power. MT, a beautiful marketing strategy to cover up lack of product innovations and efforts, has successfully managed to create a need and a want among people of this entire generation. MT is no more ET, it is the way to go and people who are not able to are looked down with contempt and will be culled in accordance with Darwin's theory. Or is it really so?

Are we really gaining from this MT saga or a diversion of our energies into too many places at the same time leading to a gross loss of productivity? Will we be better off taking one thing at a time and completing it before we touch the next? Are we falling into the hands of a well crafted plan and losing ourselves in the plot?

It's for each of us to answer. Inevitable as it has become, our ability to handle MT will be the defining factor in our success in this fast-paced world. Success will solely be decided on this factor, your MTI (Multi-Tasking Index). Introspect and get your score for your health is defined better by MTI than by BMI.

P.S: For people who have a low MTI, its time to acknowledge the evil and channelize our energies so we end up becoming a King of at least one trade rather than becoming a 8,9 or 10 of numerous trades.